Why do I have to go to a birthing class? I’m pretty sure at this point it will happen whether I contribute anything more or not.
“PUSH!”
“Plush? What’s plush?”
“No, I’m saying push to get the baby out.”
“Oh! I guess I should have gotten that from context.”
So should Mel Gibson do a comeback by starring in the next Roman Polanski film?
I think I’m going to start chewing tobacco ironically.
We may have reached the next level now where people do irony ironically.
Every time my cat stares at me, I think she’s weighing the pros and cons of eating my eyes.
I’m bored. Wanna start a rumor that Obama is a drug addict? It would explain a lot.
I think one party that’s been escaping the blame is the earth, which actually made the oil.
Maybe a Tea Party group should pass a resolution condemning the NAACP for being asinine.
“Why do I have to go to a birthing class? I’m pretty sure at this point it will happen whether I contribute anything more or not.”
It’s a good thing you have experienced fathers in your audience who know the answer to that question, Frank.
I took birthin’ classes. I still don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!
She is.
Random thought: I still dislike proofreading.
Birthin’ is woman’s work, Frank J! Read your bible! God made child birth painful because it was the woman who deceived the man! So, I say go out and have a few bears and smoke some cigars and let your woman handle it!
The NAACP – which gets it’s very name from favoring one racial group – calls the Tea Party racist.
That’s doing irony ironically.
Cats love staring contests. They use walls for practice.
Thanks, Frank. Now, we Dad’s get to impart our great wisdom about childbirth. And the Mom’s out there will cringe, grimace and shout “BS!” That’s par for the course, BTW.
See, Frank, it’s all about ‘breathing.’ Women forget how to breathe when delivering a baby. So, the Dad stands there and reminds his wife (who’s probably cursing the fact he was ever born and ‘did this to her’) how to breathe. Dad’s are so practical that way. We’re just good at the basic stuff: impregnating females, breathing, chopping wood, shooting guns and going out for “bears” and cigars afterward. Later, the baby will regard us as ‘entertainment’ and mysteriously magical with all of our worldly tricks.
BEER, ussjc. BEER. But it’s too early. COFFEE!
So, like could I join the NAACP being a white guy and all? Oh yea…
The guy’s role in birthing is like Obama’s role in the oil spill. Stand there, give encouragement, and do nothing. Repeat.
Obama has made a series of mysterious trips out of the White House with minimal escort and no press. He wants the press to stay away when he is on vacation. Is he meeting his dealer? That’s less farfaetched than Bushcheneyhaliburtonfoxnews caused 911 that rotates through the liberal blogosphere. Not saying it’s true, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Your cat only views your eyes as the true path to dinner, your brain.
Thanks for the heads up, Frank. If we dip into IMAO one morning and your typing is off, we’ll know what happened.
My biggest concern about the birth is if they will get her cleaned up and home in time to cook you dinner, Frank?
@Jimmah: I know a guy who literally made his wife wait until half time to take her to the hospital. His son turned out fine, so mebbe it wasn’t a bad idea.
“Maybe a Tea Party group should pass a resolution condemning the NAACP for being asinine.”
We don’t need resolutions…we have common sense.
Ah yes, birthing classes. You get to spend days learning how to help you wife deal with the pain and you’ll develope a special bond. You do birthing classes long enough to where you and your wife feel that nothing will be to big for the two of you to overcome.
Then, of couse, the birth happens. Your wife leaves finger nail marks in your arm, calls you every name in the book, and probably some that aren’t, all the while totally ignoring all the helpful advice you’re providing her that you learned in birthing class. After 18 hours or so she’ll tell you she’s done and doesn’t want to do this anymore and she’s going home.
If you graduate from birthing class, does that make you a birther?
NAACP has a lot of ironic ground to make up if they want to catch up with La Raza calling the Arizona law racist.
Didn’t you aleready go to birthing classes with your mother? Sure, it was 30 plus years ago – but some things you never forget. I’d say you’re off the hook.
“Maybe a Tea Party group should pass a resolution condemning the NAACP for being asinine.”
Done
http://stlouisteaparty.com/2010/07/13/st-louis-tea-party-condemns-naacp-slur/
“Maybe a Tea Party group should pass a resolution condemning the NAACP for being asinine.”
Zoltar says: Your wish is granted!
My theory on cats is that when they stare intently at you like that, they’re psycho-kinetically sucking the contents out of your brain. We have 5 cats and I don’t think I’m going to last much longer.
Our cat brings us dead birds and half-eaten voles.
Hey, in hard times every little bit helps!
Your cat must really like you to bring you presents like that. Those are not easy prey after all.
Well, the cat either likes us or just pities us, and how pitiful is that?