The Test Newsletter is out, and CafePress starts sending them at 3:00am tomorrow morning. So, make sure to check your spam filter for the newsletter tomorrow morning (it should come from THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMan to discuss in future newsletters.
The Official First IMAO Newsletter should be out in a week or so, pending when I feel like doing it.

There’s been a lot of talk about illegal immigration lately and after hearing the arguments, I have to say that the Democrats make sense on this one. This great country should be grateful to illegal aliens because after all, didn’t they build this country?
You might be wondering, “Well then who built Mexico – That place is a crap hole.” Yes, but Mexico was built by illegal aliens from Guatemala. Then Mexico got better about enforcing its borders and drove them out.
I’m grateful to illegal aliens because they help keep the cost of American products low. Because of them, we can pay Pedro $10.00 a day to work in a restaurant. If he wasn’t there, they’d have to raise the wages to find somebody willing to take on the job. So when I’m sitting in a restaurant that’s reflective of my great blogging stature, and they warn me that they may have to raise prices, I have to ask myself: “Am I willing to pay FOUR dollars for this Happy Meal?”
Maybe it’s one of the signs of the End Times, but I have to say I agree with Ted Kennedy.
Recently, Teddy claimed that it was unfair to have these illegal aliens treated as second class citizens. You might be wondering, “How can they be any kind of American citizen. They’re from another country!!!
That’s where you’d be wrong: citizenship doesn’t come from birthright or by arriving here legally, going through the process and reciting an oath – it comes from gainful employment.
Think of it as an employment perk. Every worker is entitled to free paperclips, rubber bands, and Second Class United States Citizenship. At some places you even get free pens.
We also have to examine our sense of compassion. These people come from a land where people are starving and no work is available in their land. That makes sense to me. So YES, I agree with Senator Ted Kennedy when he says that these people, by virtue of their work, should not be deported. They should be given a path to citizenship.
However, if employment is the source of citizenship, then we have to face the ugly truth: it’s time America did something about all of the poor people in this country. And the only fair and logical thing to do is: Deport them.
This may not be a popular idea, since they provide the most needed resource America needs in these trying times, Democratic votes, but the reality is we don’t need them. It cost thousands of dollars to feed and clothe a poor family on welfare – not to mention the high cost of government housing.
When you really look at it, being poor is a job skill you can pretty much do anywhere. So why NOT send them to Mexico?
Please don’t think I’m cruel. I wouldn’t want them to go against their will so we’d have to fool them into moving to Mexico. This would be easy since most of these people don’t have the sense to run away from a hurricane.
Popular marketing strategies would include:

“Look, no white people! Move to Mexico.”
“Hey, free food! Bring your appetite and your family. And your furniture. Move to Mexico.”

And the most popular…

“If you don’t do something now, George Bush is going to draft your kids. Move to Mexico.”

For a hundred bucks a month, we could support a family of four in luxury. They could enjoy small Mexican towns where the air is clean and the money goes a long, long way. In fact, in many cases, they would be the richest people in the neighborhood, thereby enhancing their self esteem.
You might be wondering, “Wouldn’t the Mexican government object to having these people on their land?” Of course not – because Mexico would know that these poor people came from a land where they were starving and there was no work available for them.
Eventually, they would have to make some changes. Government forms would have to be in English and in some cases – Ebonics. But otherwise, they would be delighted to begin bilingual classes, provide Mexican benefits, and free government healthcare. If we can take care of their poor, then certainly they could take care a few of ours, right?
Another part of this plan is that we’d have to seal the border once and for all. We couldn’t have our new Second Class Citizens trying to sneak back to Mexico and clean houses for the American poor. And we also couldn’t have the American poor coming back because then I’d have to pay big bucks for a Happy Meal.
If you like my idea, then please nominate me for President of the United States. I’m over 35 and a natural born citizen.
If you don’t like my idea then it’s only fitting you should track me down and give me a piece of your mind. I live in Mexico. You should come down here. it’s really nice. You could bring your family.
And your furniture.

Cynthia McKinney’s website has her position on various issues, including Human Rights and International Relations. One of the headings under that page is “The War on Terrorism Traps Us in a Cycle of Violence”
I guess Cynthia fell into that trap of violence, because she got caught on tape punching a DC cop.
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END????????

I had to think really hard and talk and everything.
The things you’ll do for a free sandwich and a salary.
Anyhoo, I’ll see about getting you some Frank J. humor soon. Also, I should be able to send out the official IMAO Test Newsletter tomorrow. Yeah, by now I probably should send out an actual newsletter, but I promised a test newsletter so a test newsletter you’ll get.
So, until I post again, read about Bird Flu since that’s still in the news.

Hello boys and girls,
It’s time for Ask Dr. Duck. This is the day of the week when you get to ask me, Dr. R.W. Duck, all the questions that you need answered.
What’s on your mind? Relationships? Love? Pets?
In love with pets?
Not only can Dr. Duck provide answers – but the answers are completely free*!
Please post your questions in comments. Answers will go up on Friday.
*Initial cost $150.00 minus $10.00 instant rebate, minus $15.00 mail in rebate, minus $3.75 feel like it rebate, minus $14.92 Columbus day rebate, minus $67.12 Wednesday rebate (only allowed on Thursdays), minus $20.00 “pass me another beer” rebate, minus $19.21 loyal IMAO reader rebate. Please allow6-8 years for processing. Customer must keep all original receipts. No warranties are expressed or implied. Offer not valid in blue states. Please drink responsibly.

Sorry for the lack of posting today, but, right after I posted my promo for the new shirt designs, I got called in for an all day meeting.
Yeah, no excuses; I should plan better. Anyway, I’ll try to have a good In My World™ tomorrow to make up for it.
Anyway, I appreciate the feedback on the shirts. I saw some complaints for lack of graphics, but I couldn’t think of any to go with those new designs plus the back print shirts already have the IMAO moon logo on the front. I and the rest of the IMAO staff will keep adding new designs as we have time (I have tons of ideas… including some with graphics; who wants a S.M.I.T.E. t-shirt?).
UPDATE: BTW, here’s the editorial one of shirts designs came from. I plan on turning more editorial titles into shirts.
Plagarizing myself is fun!

France may not have gotten the nod for the 2012 Summer Games, but they’re doing a fine job of hosting the 2006 Mayhem Jamboree:

Hundreds of thousands of protesters packed the streets of French cities and stalled the transportation system Tuesday, protesting a controversial labor law that would allow employers to more easily hire and fire young workers.
As the day wore on, police were ordered to clear the Place de La Republic, a large square in central Paris.
On one side of the square, police fired tear gas and on another side of the park, police used water canons to fire jets of water at the protesters.

This is standard procedure for French Riot Police, because nothing is more offensive and demoralizing to a Frenchman than forcing him to wash.

There are some people in the U.S. illegally who don’t like the U.S. immigration laws. That’s a real shame. I feel sorry for them that they feel so unwelcome. That is not good. People, even hard working law abiding criminal type people, need to feel welcome. And they SHOULD feel welcome.
I want them to know, as far as I’m concerned, that they ARE in fact welcome. TO LEAVE.
My message to them: “Thanks for visiting leaving! Come back anytime when you’re legal!”