Recently, the Transportation Security Administration announced that a cell phone charger taped to a block of cheese was found at an airport in someone’s checked bag.
As a result of this discovery, the TSA has issued a warning to be on the lookout for suspicious combinations of food and non-food-related devices. Here’s a partial list of things to become alarmed about:
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- Hearing aid superglued to a Dorito.
- iPhone stuffed in a haggis.
- Fig Newtons in a Van De Graaff generator
- Palm Pilot perched upon a pepperoni pineapple pizza.
- Giant pumpkin concealing a Borg Queen
- Hungry Man frozen dinner with a Hemi
- Universal remote control covered in a suspicious – yet delicately flavored – saffron-honey glaze
- Bacon, lettuce, and Nintendo cartridge sandwich
- Wii controller tucked inside a Twinkie
- BlackBerry pie
- Blackened Cajun DVD player
- “Chunky” Peanut Butter that’s actually creamy peanut butter with tiny diodes.
- Det cord and meatballs
Final tip – if your birthday cake is throwing off sparks, run like hell:
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I wear the cheese. The cheese does not wear me.
Just another glowing example of the potential dangers of second-hand cheese.
I recently reported two swarthy young males for individually bringing Mentos and Diet Pepsi onto a plane. The last thing this nation needs is another derivative YouTube video.
I recently reported two swarthy young males for individually bringing Mentos and Diet Pepsi onto a plane. The last thing this nation needs is another derivative YouTube video.
* Palm Pilot perched upon a pepperoni pineapple pizza.
How deliciously alliterative. But Pepperoni and pineapple should be illegal, even without the terror connections.
Exurban, they were probably let in by the night-time screeners at Sky Harbor too!
Obviously DesertElephant has never had a pepperoni & pineapple pizza.
Used to get ’em all the time when I worked at Pizza Pit (local Wisconsin & Iowa chain).
I always thought there was something suspicious about people from Wisconsin and/or Packer fans….
DesertElephant: Come to think of it, those suspicious lads were dressed as pilots. Friggin’ Sky Harbor!
Master Shake: Easy on the Packers smack, friend. I hear enough of it from my Vikings-fan missus.
Yah, them cheese heads wearing cheese hats have been setting up the TSA agents for years! Why they could conceal toenail clippers or (GASP) boxcutters in that cheese.
And all you wankers better watch out for AMERICA’S TEAM this year. They got lil’ Bum for a coach.
GO COWBOYS!
Bacon? Maybe fakeon, but what terrorist would use a pork product?
Bacon, lettuce, and Nintendo cartridge sandwich
I laughed so hard I got funny looks from my coworkers. Until they read it, then we all got funny looks from the next department over.
This whole cheese business stinks of fart humor.
Cutting the Cheez
Explosive Diarrhea
fire in the HOLE….
should we be more afraid of the overheated fondue launcher, or getting sliced up by some extra-sharp cheddar?
Harv, as the victim of Pineapple and Pepperoni terror by my parents, I speak from Experience.
Giant pumpkin concealing a Borg Queen . . .
C’mon, man! How can you even joke about that? When you hooked up to a regenerating machine, one with the hive mind, YOU’LL BE SORRY! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
At first, I thought the dude in the photo was covered in post-it notes or bubble gum wrappers, thus confirming the efficacy of those items as formidable weapons (from a previous post).