President Bush wants another million billion dollars for war. The Democrats are acting like they won’t give it to him, but they’re impotent little wusses and when push comes to shove, they’ll squeal, “We were okay with the pushing, but the shoving is too much! Stop and we’ll give you whatever you want!”
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Now obviously half that money will go to Halliburton in the form of kick backs, but why does the military need so much more money? Here’s what I found out about where all these expenditures came from:
* They’re now issuing military grade nunchucks to all the troops.
* Treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder from the last time Hillary visited.
* Cigarettes are expensive you know.
* Study of what best sustains the morale of troops sitting in a hot tank: A Nintendo DS or a PSP.
* How are the troops supposed to represent the best of America if they don’t each have an iPhone?
* There treating all the troops for psychosis since they keep claiming things aren’t as bad the 100% reliable media claims they are.
* They military thought they saw something, they fired all their bullets at it, and now they need more ammo.
* They’re putting spinners on all the tanks.
* Apparently some of the stuff they blew up needs to be rebuilt. Who knew?
* The troops keep crashing UAVs into each other as practical jokes, and while that is funny, it’s not millions of dollars funny
* The Marines’ Ka-Bars are dirty and they want new ones.
* They’re building sandboxes for the Iraqi kids and need to import some sand.
* They bought some hybrid Humvees but had to replace them after it was pointed out that violated the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
* The troops need Prozac after the devastating news that Dumbledore is gay.
* All assault vehicles now come with OnStar.
* The Blackwater contractors signed on to be beat, shot at, and blown up, but casting them as villains costs extra.
* All the movies out of Hollywood lately are a bunch of anti-American crap, so they had to make their own movies.
* Don’t tell anyone, but most of the money is going towards invading Iran.
* Don’t tell anyone, but most of the money is going towards invading Iran.
Bingo.
Where’s the money go? Coffins, morphine, crutches, fake arms and legs for soldiers who have lost limbs. Bribes to bribe people many of whom probably support an Islamic state and/or Iran. Payments to mercenaries and security firms because we don’t have enough troops. Payments to Iraqi soldiers – some of these Iraqi soldiers turn around and shoot us. More money spent rebuilding things because insurgents keep blowing them.
Physical therapy for sprained eyeball muscles. They get strained by exaggerated rolls while reading crap like the second (anonymous) comment.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week!
It’s probably going to buying big giant speakers to put on Hummvees and scare insurgents with.
“It’s probably going to buying big giant speakers to put on Hummvees and scare insurgents with.”
#4 – Posted by: Pantera on October 23, 2007 03:17 PM
That and the Barely Man-enough CD’s to torture them with…………”Oh Mandy you came in a burka and I took it”
I have been waiting so long for the spinners on the tanks!
I think a small portion of the money went for stationary, envelopes, pens, and stamps so the troops could write the whiney libtards at home and say “TOLD YOU SO, BITCH – LOVE, USMC”
If Iran wants tio avoid their fate, all they have to do is:
1. Publicly hang all of those involved in the Embassy takeover and hostage taking-including all descendants since the bloodlines must end.
2. Open the entire company up to the inspectors.
Two non-negotiable requirements to convince the U.S. to sit at the table with them, unless they attend Columbia U.
#3 FormerHostage, Amen brother!
#9 …you mean she doesn’t? DAMN!