14 Comments

  1. Fred Thompson: Stonecutter. Metric football detractor. NAU wonk.
    He also refers to the X-Files as a series of documentaries, and is often seen in dimly lit bars with Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebek.
    Fear the man.

  2. Soccer: The game no American ever wanted to play that the US government first pushed in our public schools at the same time they introduced the metric system, and the mainstream media keeps wanting us to make our national sport.
    Their latest attempt is pretending we care that a Spice Girl’s husband is going to play…we don’t care.
    As others have said, it’s gay.

  3. Why such hatred of soccer? What’s so bad about it?
    I can speak only for myself, but here’s why soccer bores me:
    Soccer is ice hockey in slow motion. The games have considerable similarities. In each case, a team scores by putting an object in a net guarded by a goaltender. In each case, the goaltender has certain rights regarding the use of his hands that other player do not. In each case, there is an offsides rule. However, the action is MUCH faster in ice hockey. Moreover, while a score of 4-3 would be nothing remarkable in either a soccer match or an ice hockey game, the soccer match would involve perhaps fifteen shots on goal, while the ice hockey game would involve perhaps sixty. I can appreciate a good defensive struggle, but soccer, because there’s so little substantial threat of scoring, doesn’t offer that. Ice hockey does.
    As to why I hate soccer, it’s the combination of the fact that I find it boring and the arrogance of soccer fans. As an American, I have the choice of watching virtually any sport played at the highest level. Europeans, for example, do not have the choice of watching football (by which I do not mean soccer or rugby) or basketball at the highest levels. Americans, with that choice, choose to watch things other than soccer. It’s unspeakably arrogant of the rest of the world to tell us that we should watch soccer because the rest of the world does (and, actually, considerably less than the rest of the world watches soccer with any enthusiasm).

  4. SOCCER requires some athletic ability and the need to accept brutal punishment to leg parts, in addition to accepting the fact that whoever wins loses a couple of fans each game when the losing team riots. FOOTBALL requires some athletic ability and the desire to exchange blows with your college buddy who plays on the other guy’s team. oh…and the ability to say “i have made a mistake and am going into rehab. again. BASEBALL requires some athletic ability but it mostly requires the ability to blow snot from one nostril, scratch the boys down under and spit at least 5 feet. while bringin er home! BASKETBALL requires little athletic ability unless jumping up and hanging onto a hoop while showing off your latest pair of Nikes is considered “athletic”. HOCKEY..NOW THAT’S A GAME! Athletic men with half of their teeth missing, grinding it out, kicking and tripping and poking and gnashing and occasionally bumping a ref, while skating the entire time backwards and forwards and all around. I LOVE HOCKEY!!!! oh. where were we? yeah, soccer sucks.

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