For John Edwards, something nearby isn’t a “hop, skip & a jump”, it’s a “mince, prance & a flounce”.
Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards does not know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. He always gets emotionally involved and loses count.
John Edwards definitely prefers a mincing gel to loafer lightener.
And during the “mince, prance & a flounce,” his hair is caught in slow motion and seen to “swirl, twirl and purl.”
John Edwards does not know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. He always gets emotionally involved and loses count.
“One… Two-HOO-OOH-OOH!!!”
As a former trial lawyer, John Edwards has been the willing recipient of a record-setting number of gag orders. – He still enjoys them to this day…
I was warned that John Edwards has a cardboard tube and a gerbil and he knows how to use them!
know why John Edwards wears a tie? Keeps the foreskin from sliding back up!
Know what happens when you give Hillary Viagra? She gets taller!
Hillary Clinton, first female prick president..and proud of it!!!
Oh god…I read the joke, and wanted to post how funny it was, and then I read #7… and then #6… and then I wet my pants laughing, and so did my 8-year-old, but he has no idea why… and then I wet my pants laughing again… please stop…
John Edwards doesn’t like tootsie pops because, after sucking on them for so long, he expects a cream filling.
Poor John really believes that the Tootsie Pop likes it better when he uses his hands too.
Things believed to exist, but rarely seen:
1. Loch Ness Monster
2. Bigfoot
3. John Edwards’ Testicles