It’s your last chance to participate in the IMAO fundraiser and be entered to win the Super Happy Fun IMAO Prize Package Number One. Also, you get to support Frank J. (me!) towards being a full-time blogger, and is there a better cause than that? (Answer: No)
Thanks to everyone who has donated already; you’re awesome! Now stay tuned for five more years of IMAO funny.
Be honorable, ronin.
For anyone not wishing to contribute to IMAO, I will be selling IMAO credits. Sure, none of the money will actually help IMAO in any way, but for less money you can still convince yourself that you actually helped Frank J in some unspecified way.
For those cheap bastards out there who love IMAO but can’t afford IMAO credits and don’t want to get involved with Son of Bob’s scam, I am offering IMAO Credit Offsets. They are half the price of IMAO credits and we guarantee that SoB will not receive one penny. So if you are like me and would enjoy seeing SoB impoverished and sleeping in the gutter send your cash today.
For those people who can’t afford either my IMAO credits or CochinoMarrano’s credit offsets, I will also be offering credit offset offsets. They cost almost nothing, and pretty much do no good for anyone…especially IMAO or Frank J, but a portion of the proceeds may or not go to a charity that might help children…or not. So, you can at least feel like you might have maybe done something good for somebody…maybe.
Friends, do you really want your IMAO credit offset offset dollar to quite possibly/maybe/peripherally benefit some snot nosed brat or, God forbid, Frank J? Of course not. I say, if there is even a one percent chance of this happening, the risk is too great. That is why for a limited time I am offering certified IMAO Ponzi Scheme Credit Offsets. With your purchase we promise to force feed a hobo a puppy blended shake and then bludgeon him with his own bindle stick. Act Now!!
For no money at all we will kill kittens in your name. That’s right, cute furry kittens dead…all for you. What’s more, we will ad your name to a petition demanding that the Fairness Doctrine include IMAO and that the website be shut down immediately. That’s why my guaranteed certified IMAO Ponzi scheme credit offset offset is your only real choice. Act now, the kittens are waiting.
Well played, sir.