The worst part of being John Edwards’s secretary? Constantly being called into his office to help him pull Post-It Notes off legal documents.
Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
Fred Thompson isn’t the only candidate with a trophy wife; unfortunately for John Edwards, his trophy was for last place.
The second worst…pulling staples for him from single sheets of paper.
I think that the whole story of John Edwards and his alleged affair with a campaign worker was actually spread by Edwards himself solely as a means of countering IMAO’s Daily John Edwards Fabulous Facts, which generally imply that he is more girlie than man.
To quote Peter Boyle:
John Edwards once sued a pet store for $20,000,000 in pain and suffering after a kitten shed on him.
Of course John Edwards has people to do all that stuff for him. You can’t stay photogenic by messing with all that heavy stuff. I hate that stuff.
Casper: The lady does have incurable cancer; it’s understandable that she might not exactly be at her best right now.
OTOH, and if you don’t mind, here’s my suggested small editorial change:
Fred Thompson isn’t the only one with a trophy wife; unfortunately for Elizabeth Edwards, her trophy was for last place.
When I heard the news that Edwards may have been getting kinky with a staffer, my first response was to ask, “So, What’s his name?”
Mad-“All good writer’s must be willing to be edited; shitty writers even more so.” Thx
Actually John is the trophy wife in that marriage.
Casper –
Didn’t mean to go heavy on ya there – but cancer’s kind of a sore spot with me. I was 8 y/o when watched my granddad sink due to liver cancer. It was the first death of a close family member and I’ll never forget how he went from being a strong, 6’3″, 200# man to being too weak to stand over the course of about three months.
The last time I saw him, the look on his face was indescribable. Years later, I realized that he looked at me like that because he knew he’d never see his grandson again in this life.
It was 35 years ago; still remember it plain as day.
We now return you to regularly scheduled programming….
Bonus John Edwards Fact:
Filmmaker Rielle Hunter threw cold water on rumors of an affair between herself and John Edwards: “Let me state this as plainly as possible. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a lesbian.”
Caspar,
I love these John Edwards Fabulous Facts, but I gotta second Mad insomniac. Leave his wife outa this.
the hard part is actually having to squeeze the stapler together.
Sorry Ed & Mad – but I gotta disagree. Elizabeth Edwards is fair game. If she stayed on the sidelines or stuck to statements like “Vote for my husband ’cause he’s a great guy” it would be different. I’d agree she should be let out of it.
But she has gone on the attack questioning Rush Limbaugh’s draft deferment (with no evidence), taking shots at Obama and Clinton. Fair enough — they are all in the game and should be able to take it. But Elizabeth Edwards has to take it too. She doesn’t get a pass just because she has cancer.
OTOH — Mad’s rewrite WAS funnier.
His secretary doesn’t use Midnight Passion lipstick anymore, because there can only be one pair of kissable lips in that office.