WASHINGTON (AP) – During a recent MTV/MySpace forum, presidential hopeful John Edwards outlined his plan to solve inner city violence, which apparently consists of filling every prison in America with black youths, and then having the rest of the male African-American population summarily executed.
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“We start,” said Edwards, “with the president of the United States saying to America, ‘we cannot build enough prisons to solve this problem.’ And the idea that we can keep incarcerating and keep incarcerating — pretty soon we’re not going to have a young African-American male population in America. They’re all going to be in prison or dead. One of the two.”
During the ensuing hush, wherein the only audible noise was that of gently whirring camera motors, the former Senator clarified his comments. “I don’t think there’s a silver bullet for this,” Edwards explained, “but with enough lead bullets – 9mm jacketed hollow-points spring to mind – I think a lot of the inner-city violence in this country can be eliminated. Or at least the perpetrators can, and that’s a darn good start.”
When one audience member pointed out that this was tantamount to genocide, Edwards stared off into space a moment, glassy-eyed, before giggling girlishly and returning his attention to the audience.
“Being a former trial lawyer, I’m familiar with the importance of correctly defining terms,” explained Edwards. “‘Genocide’ is the deliberate and systematic destruction of an ethnic, religious or national group. Although I do plan to start with an African-American genocide, my complete plans for this nation will eventually include the brutal slaughter of everyone who does not possess perfect hair. Obviously no nappy-headed ho’s need apply for survival on this one, which is why I’m starting with the blacks.”
“Right now, there are two Americas,” Edwards continued gleefully, ” the America with perfect hair, and the scalpularly-challenged America. I believe the world will be better off when there’s only one America. A perfect-haired America. An America whose population is… me. That’s why everyone else must die.”
“If you thought the Barackalypse was something,” concluded Edwards, “wait until you see Johnageddon.”
[Hat tip: Teresa of Technicalities]
Eh, jacketed hollow-points are expensive…actually bullets in general are expensive. Maybe Johnny could come with some aerosol-delivered substance as a more efficient way of liquidation…I know, hairspray!
Oh, the irony.
See? I Told you he was that Ensign from Star Trek !!
A really good thing about that is that at the end of the episode, he’ll be vaporized. heh
“Johnageddon”? Oh please. The closest thing to that Johnwards would ever get is a slap-fight with a troupe of Girl Scouts that would end in tears & a broken fingernail… for Edwards.
And let’s face it; Edwards doesn’t believe that black people actually exist. He thinks it’s some clever ruse put on by PETA to showcase the treatment of apes in the zoo & circus monkeys. It’s the general attitude that most leftards have toward African-Americans.
Wait a second, John Edwards knows what 9mm jacketed hollow-points are?!?!?!?!
Swamper, Nope, but his speech writers do. You think he actually can think for himself? Other than about hair and being Barbie and the such?
“Johnageddon” very tiring to watch on the tele, especially when he says things like, “I am NOMAD. I am perfect” (referring to his hair).
And here I thought Johnny would take them out with a sweep of his perfect helmet-head. How disappointing to find out he uses bullets. grin