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Karl Rove has resigned. He says he feels he has spread enough evil in the world and now wants to spread evil on a smaller scale, such as kidnapping and beheading teenagers and then dismembering their corpses as part of a Satanic ritual. He also plans to take his family to the beach.
Some wonder if Karl Rove was forced to resign, but according to Rove’s best friend, Cthulhu, it was a decision of only Rove and his family. Also, the dark signs have begun to appear and thus Rove’s manipulation of the White House is no longer needed to ensure the downfall of man.
A senior administration official says there are no plans to replace Karl Rove as Rove’s taint of darkness on the White House is expected to last until at least January, 2009.
awwww! why start the week with such sad news? i love Rove – he reminds of Pappy O’Daniel in O, Brother! Maybe he could sing a verse of “You Are My Sunshine” before he goes?
I heard he’s going to head up the Clinton campaign. Is it legal to link to ScrappleFace from IMAO? I still find IMAOs article funnier.
Depending on who wins in ’08, his taint of darkness might seem like wholesome goodness.
KHHHHAAAAANNNNNN!
Great article, made me laugh!
I like Rove. It seems like the shorter, rounder, and friendlier a Conservative is, the more libtards shriek and vomit in terror. We need more Conservative dwarfs in the Republican adminitration…shorter than the lefts’ Reichhhhhhhhe.
The truth is that Karl Rove is not actually resigning, but sinking deeper into the shadows to prepare to control the next administration from behind the scenes.
We’ll always have Dick Cheney, the true power behind the throne.
Rover, you and your awesome Sith Lord powers shall be sorely missed. As you’re headed back to Texas, could you make the Hippies that are starting to invade spontaneously combust. Please?
That’s not evil. I mean, who doesn’t want to kill teenagers?
Check the ‘bat fest in the article comments.
The truth is that Karl Rove is not actually resigning, but sinking deeper into the shadows to prepare to control the next administration from behind the scenes.
Exactly – it’s all some secret society after all…next thing ya know, there will be a “Rove Code” chock full of twists, turns, and diabolic deviousness……or was that already done throughout most of the 90’s??
…Rumor has it that Haliburton has an executive position open in the ME.
They’re looking for VP of Operations in the Baby Eating and Rendering Division, and Karl is their number one man.
Godspeed, Karl. Godspeed.
I think he’s leaving because of the awesome Paladin-y goodness of Fred!Thompson (who’d better run goshdarnit, I rented a pavilion for you!!!!!)
Let’s not sugarcoat this. Rove’s resignation is a major victory for lefty scum everywhere. It has nothing to do with the US Attorney firings, or even Valerie Plame – they hate him for his political strategies; most notably, injecting same-sex marriage into the ’04 election (a winner).
But good ideas are a finite resource, like good songs (see Paul McCartney, Paul Simon). Immigration reform (read amnesty) was not one of them, and along with the ’06 trouncing, an indicator that the well may have run dry.
That said, I believe Gen. Petraeus’ report in September had more to do with this than anything else. Rove’s scalp is an offering to Democrats so that they play ball just a little bit longer on Iraq. And no doubt, the Dems will take that offering and still demand a retreat.
He’s going after Voldemort.
Maybe he’s just gettin’ out while the gettin’ is good. Lameducks tend to walk with a limp, regardless of party.
No wonder I’ve had such a crappy day – the government just got slightly less awesomely evil.
Rove makes me smile because he makes lefties cry.
Gotta say it one last time: Rove, you magnificent bastard!
(Riiing Ring…Riiing Ring)
(Click)Hello.
Fred, This is Karl….I’m In.
What’s it going to cost?
Two NY Senator hearts and a nice bottle of chiante.
That is acceptable.
(Click)
I just found this hilarios PHOTO SLIDESHOW on how politics has aged Karl Rove and his cohorts.
In fact,
Karl Rove’s resignation is just the latest reminder that spending time on Capitol Hill is a surefire way to add a few extra wrinkles to your forehead.
POLITICS AGES YOU!
http://www.maximonline.com/StupidFun/Karlrove/slideshow/4395/295.aspx?src=tst60
I thought that he WAS Voldemort…
In a good way, of course! 😉
I hope Beelzebub issues the minutes for the Weekly Executive Meeting of Hell this week. I need to know whom to listen to, whom to sacrifice virgins to. Considering all the trouble it takes to find and tranquilize a virgin, the next Dark Lord better make it worth it!
Fred Thompson called and told Rove to either resign and join his campaign or suffer the consequences…Rove immediately wet his pants and did just as Mr. Fred Thompson “requested”! Now he shall wreak his havok upon the Democratic nominee in the next election…Mwuhahahaha!!!!
Does this mean we’ll FINALLY get the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy talking points by e-mail instead of fax now?!
I’m loyal, of course, but Rove is just so darned old-school. >_>;