The HuffPo plans to interview the Speaker of the House.
Here’s my list of queries:
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- Boxers, briefs, thongs, or commando?
- President Bush: Satan or merely Hitler?
- Do you have a plan for victory in Iraq that has a better chance of success than King Arthur attacking a castle full of Frenchmen in his quest for the Holy Grail?
- Do you think people will be afraid to vote for Obama because he’s black, or because he looks like Bat Boy?
- Is Michael Jackson angry that you stole his nose?
- Does your husband know what a “wide stance” is?
- Who would win in a fight between you and Aquaman?
- If you bite someone, do they become a Democrat?
- Do you have a preferred orifice for cigar insertion?
- If a Democrat wins the White House, will you run out and buy a burka right away to avoid the rush once America surrenders itself to Sharia law?
If you’ve got anything to ask the Speaker, drop it in the comments.
Dude, I threw up all over my keyboard after reading the first question, the keys are all squishy now and the IT guys are not going to be amused.
You might want to move the first question to last or at least give a “vomit warning”.
I’m so glad I’m on painkillers right now, or that would’ve really hurt. But since you brought it up, I’m going to hazard a guess: An athletic supporter.
I have a question or two for her-
*When it gets hot outside, do you carry an emergency cannister of aerosol nitrogen to keep things in place?
*Do you plan any more movie cameos, or was ‘Brazil’ just a one-time deal?
Now that you’ve cleaned the corruption from the House and gotten us out of the war, what else do you think it’ll take to win YOUR Nobel?
Have you stopped beating your husband?
Which one of the masked figures were you in the Folsom Street Fair poster?
Which one of your grandchildren are you going to sacrifice to ensure Hillary gets the White House?
Or will there be more than one?
So, when you and Whoopi are in bed, what kinds of things do you talk about?
OK folks… everybody break out the Dramamine…
Are those real?
SORRY – sorry folks, just had to.
Since San Francisco is your district:
Should the Giants have tried to re-sign Barry Bonds? And, as long as we’re talking about Barry, has he spent more on steroids than you have on face-lifts?
What’s the 49ers biggest need?
Which company will be the next to close an office in San Francisco that employs five-hundred or more people?
Do you think Gavin Newsom is sexier than Cindy Sheehan? What about Willie Brown (as compared to either)?
If Cindy Sheehan sticks with her plans to run against you, will you have her commit suicide a la the Clintons or simply ship her off to a Somoan tuna factory?
When I die, can I live on your rack?
You. Have. Harshed. My. Vibe.
Eee Yuck !!
Wollf
Is it true that you were turned down for the role as the Borg Queen because you came across as “too unbelievably cold and malicious” and “(your) facial skin was much too tight”?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Borg_Queen_2372.jpg
@ Mad Insomniac
They’re real, and they’re CRAPTACULAR.
Is it true that Jack Nicholson credits you for his makeup as the Joker in his starring role in Batman and how did he end up looking better than you after he fell into the green pit of goo?
What percentage of “people” now living in SF are “buggerers” and/or “buggeries” and is the city doing anything to encourage immigration? I would work to open a “pipe-line” from my city to yours to increase your numbers…
So when you drink the blood of very young children to keep that whole spell going, are there any types of young children that you find preferable to others?
A few questions for the speaker:
Princess Mombi, do you still wish to collect Dorothy Gale’s head for your own?
How do you NOT have “mom butt”?
Is it true that Marilyn Manson is scared of Hillary due to her extemely androgenous appearance?
Do you find Fred Thompson irresistable and you don’t know why? Silly goose, of course you do!
So was it fun making that Robert Palmer video? You were the Keytar player, right?
Why is your skull trying to escape your face?
If Shillary gets the presidency, will you use Shillary health care to remove the stick up your butt?
When do you plan your next diplomacy escapade and where?
When you and Hillary get together, who is on top?
OK, the “commando” comment was uncalled for. Can you imagine the result of an upskirt shot of “Speaker” pelosi with no undies? It could kill TV. Drive people to radio. Or cause them to read books again. End the internet. Our culture could be driven back 100 years. We could all end up looking for twigs and berries in the fields. BILLIONS could die. The horror. The humanity.
We never see you and Skeletor in the same place at the same time. Is there something you’d like to admit? Come to think of it, we never see you and Mum-Ra together either. How many cartoon villains are you?
Frank gives high praise for best comments, but he gets high praise for #15. That was spew-tacular!
How many more suicide bombers would there be if it became known that you were in line as virgin #145?
Do you actually have coherent thoughts or is that “deer in the headlights” look a natural result of confusion?
Do you have plans to release a GILF calander? If so how can we get you to stop it?
Will you deal with today’s issues – ie budget or are you going to alienate every possible ally by dealing with history?
Do you have a patent on ugly or is that just a trademark?
So when you, hiltery, and cthulhu get together to worship yogsoth, which one of you holds the two year old child sacrifice on the altar?
Was the power you traded your soul for worth it? Is the scragginess of your face a side effect?
When Jesus comes back, are you going to burst into flames immediately or just melt away?