WASHINGTON (AP) – More than 4 years after the American-led invasion of Iraq, 81-year-old economist Alan Greenspan has published his memoirs, which contain the observation, “the Iraq war is largely about oil”. This has led leading Republican politicians to respond overwhelmingly with “Well, DUH!”
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“I can’t believe it’s taken the senile, wrinkle-lipped, Durante-nosed idiot this long to figure it out,” said presidential hopeful Fred Thompson. “I mean, I know economists aren’t that bright – Economics is the degree you go for after you flunk out of Accounting school, after all – but there are bronze-medal-winning Special Olympians who figured out this bit of ‘breaking news’ before the first blast of Shock and Awe scorched the skyline of Baghdad.”
When asked for his take on the topic, retired Bush confidant Donald Rumsfeld stopped flaying a hippie long enough to offer his opinion. “[expletive] idiot! Did he think we went in there to scoop up a bunch of [expletive] sand to prop up the [expletive] kitty litter industry? If we weren’t so [expletive] worried about keeping the oil supply safe, we’d have nuked those [lengthy and viciously unflattering series of expletives] Arabs into glowing glass & ashes back in ’91!”.
“Now,” he concluded, removing a large strip of skin from the hippie’s back, “get the hell away from me before I gouge out your eyes and [unsavory physical act of corpse desecration]!”
Although expected by Democrats to react as though some embarrassing secret had been let out, President Bush seemed puzzled as to why this bit of information was considered news. “Of COURSE this war is all about oil! Specifically, keeping the French, Chinese, and Russians from buying it on the black market from a brutal regime which they were supposed to be boycotting.”
“That,” the president said congenially, “is probably what the feeble-minded, greasy-headed old mummy probably meant. He probably just forgot about that bit of history. Lord knows the Democrats & war protesters have.”
Oh Harvey, you paint such a flattering picture… I can just picture Rummy now… hope he’s using a dull knife.
Did I say that?
nevermind
Harvey MEGA-dittos on this one, I think this is the first time I laughed out loud at something I read in a long time.
I found it funny that the media was talking about this and saying, “after years of silence…”
Years of silence? Greenspan won’t shut up and let Bernanke do his job…
At this point, I’m kinda wishing we would engage in a war for oil. What do you think the presidential approval rating would be if gas prices suddenly dropped to a buck a gallon? Through the bleeping roof, that’s where.
Ah………….in the next war for oil, can we go after “a buck for a gallon of gas” kind?!
We need to have a “Caption This!” contest for that picture.
I’ll get the ball rolling:
“That Rue McClanahan is a helluva dish. Now where’s my jello?”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm farts arent lumpy are they???!!!
I think he will be interviewed on CNBC tonight. (Pre-recorded) He also said the Iraq war was the right thing to do. The libs don’t know how to react now.
The old prick married that ugly reporter on NBC…so cut him some slack ok!
anybody seen Rosie’s bat? if you have, give this old bastard a couple of good whacks…
How many do we have to kill to get gas down to a quarter a gallon?