Beat Jimmah Carter? Meh…BFD. That’s on par with mugging Girl Scouts for their cookies, stomping baby ducks, or b*+ch-slapping John Edwards.
Now…if he forced Jimmah to wear a French maid outfit, shove a pineapple up the wazoo, and monkey dance for our pleasure…
Fred’s toddler once beat Jimmah down with one, small, toddler-sized hand behind his back, and Jimmah was given several weapons. Note: Jimmy said the weapons weren’t necessary – he was wrong, on so many levels.
Fred Thompson went in for a mandatory physical. He broke three blood pressure cuffs before they realize that they should have just left well enough alone.
The doctor took one look at Thompson and put his latex glove away, whispering “Never mind, sir. My bad.”
By the end of the physical, the doctor had a nervous break down, and three nurses were pregnant.
//He also beats Jimmy Carter every other weekend.//
So not true. If Fred ever beat up on Jimma’ it would only be once. Jimma’ would be, pushing up the daisies. He would have rung down the curtain and joined the blooming choir invisible. He also assume room temperature and become bereft of life, he’d rest in pieces, he’d be an X-human (lib, commie socialist bedwetter -whaterver). (apologies Monty Python)
More importantly, how do you indicate Fred Thompson in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors using one hand? You expect to distill his awesomeness into one hand gesture? Not even the combined powers of Marlee Matlin and the Fonz could accomplish that.
Plus do you really want to say that you threw Fred Thompson? Do you realize what he does to people who say things like that?
Wouldn’t Fred Thompson leave the beating of Jimmy Carter to his young and very pretty wife who could beat Carter to an inch of his life with one hand tied behind her back just to make it fair!
Patrick, one distills the essence of Fred! into a single gesture in said game by the extension of a single finger located between the Index and Ring. Need an illustration?
Beat Jimmah Carter? Meh…BFD. That’s on par with mugging Girl Scouts for their cookies, stomping baby ducks, or b*+ch-slapping John Edwards.
Now…if he forced Jimmah to wear a French maid outfit, shove a pineapple up the wazoo, and monkey dance for our pleasure…
Fred’s toddler once beat Jimmah down with one, small, toddler-sized hand behind his back, and Jimmah was given several weapons. Note: Jimmy said the weapons weren’t necessary – he was wrong, on so many levels.
The new Rambo movie is actually based on Fred Thompson’s life since retiring from the Senate.
Fred Thompson went in for a mandatory physical. He broke three blood pressure cuffs before they realize that they should have just left well enough alone.
The doctor took one look at Thompson and put his latex glove away, whispering “Never mind, sir. My bad.”
By the end of the physical, the doctor had a nervous break down, and three nurses were pregnant.
He also beats Jimmy Carter every other weekend.
Least impressive Fred Fact ever.
//He also beats Jimmy Carter every other weekend.//
So not true. If Fred ever beat up on Jimma’ it would only be once. Jimma’ would be, pushing up the daisies. He would have rung down the curtain and joined the blooming choir invisible. He also assume room temperature and become bereft of life, he’d rest in pieces, he’d be an X-human (lib, commie socialist bedwetter -whaterver). (apologies Monty Python)
It’s reported today that Fred’s about to take the gloves off. His next campaign memorabilia will be autographed cans of Fred Whupass.
Not to mention that Jimmy Carter GETS beat by rock, scissors, and yes… even paper. Not even that thick card stock, but tissue paper.
More importantly, how do you indicate Fred Thompson in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors using one hand? You expect to distill his awesomeness into one hand gesture? Not even the combined powers of Marlee Matlin and the Fonz could accomplish that.
Plus do you really want to say that you threw Fred Thompson? Do you realize what he does to people who say things like that?
Wouldn’t Fred Thompson leave the beating of Jimmy Carter to his young and very pretty wife who could beat Carter to an inch of his life with one hand tied behind her back just to make it fair!
Patrick, one distills the essence of Fred! into a single gesture in said game by the extension of a single finger located between the Index and Ring. Need an illustration?