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Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Derek.
What’s the story behind your name? Well Derek means “Ruler of the People” and my parents had a keen sense of irony. However if I ever witness a mob killing and have to testify I have already picked out my witness protection name, Miguel Javier Escobar Sanchez.
Where do you live? Kissimmee, FL or as I like to call it Orlando Jr.
How old are you? 418 months
Tell us briefly about yourself. I was born in Florida, graduated High School and joined the Marines. Got to hang out in Japan on Uncle Sam’s dime for a year, came back got a job, got married, and had 3 kids all boys (A 5 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old. We have cable now so we are not as bored at night so that should be the last of the kids) I work a full time job and my wife and I work a part time travel agency from our home. This way she can stay at home with our kids and home school them (yeah we are one of those kooks that don’t believe that you should turn pre K children over to the government for book learnin’) If you would like to know more you can read my upcoming autobiography called, “Kiss My @$$, A Love Story.”
Do you think liberals secretly want to be punched? Yes, I do. Nature hates a vacuum and the hollowness of their words causes a vast, sucking vacuum that needs to be filled. Normally their foot will fit in their nicely, but sometimes you have to shove your fist in there. A really good liberal will be able to accommodate not only their foot but both of your fists as well.
How long have you been reading IMAO? About two years now.
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I love In My World also I was a fan of Fun Facts of the 50 States
What’s you favorite political issue? Explaining to dumb hippies how it doesn’t matter how much you raise takes on evil corporations it is the consumer that ends up paying them when they pass the cost on to them. That was part of the reason we started doing a home business, the tax write offs are insane and the less I have to give to the government means one less free ride for dumb hippies to go to college.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I don’t not have a website. It is so much easier to leave brilliant and snarky comments on other peoples sites. Plus I really don’t think this Internet thing is going to catch on.
What’s your least favorite type of whale? The Beluga whale. You know the lumpy white ones. They creep me out every time I go to Sea World. They are like the creepy kid from Powder. The only way to make them more creepy is to give them freckles and red hair. Lumpy, white, freckly, red haired, creepy whales. (shudder) Now if they had a cool horn sticking out of their head like a Narwhal that would be a different story.
Thanks for participating! You are welcome and thank you for having me. It is not often that I get to share my insights with a fine gentleman such as yourself and your enlightened readers. I look forward to seeing you and all the contributors at next year’s IMAOcon. You guy’s will get a kick out of my Karl Rove costume.
[You weren’t supposed to respond to that. -Ed.]
If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!
IMAOcon? Sweet! Are we going to have a tin-foil hat contest like YearlyKos-suckers? My design includes anti-satellite weaponry. I’m not one of those lefty wussies and just let them shoot mind-control rays at me – I fight back!
IMAOcon, great idea! Will the trolls be there?
“…next year’s IMAOcon.” Now there’s an interesting idea. Kinda like the “RONIN Reunion.” Great work, Derek.
More questions for Derek:
1.) Which liberal would you most like to flush down a high vacuum toilet?
2.) Would you insert both of your fists and both their feet into a liberal’s mouth? What would happen if you did?
3.) Which costumes do you recommend for IMAOcon?
MAOcon? Ok…are you guys planning something that you aren’t telling poor little ussjimmycarter about? I don’t know if my sensitive side could handle the rejection knowing that I was left off the invite list…
ROTFFLMAO and dying here. ussjimmycarter can come uninvited as a giant submarine!!
Derek, Thank you for yor service Marine.
Semper Fi.
I lift a glass in your name.
Derek gets my vote for guest blogger status.
Very smart outlook and majorly humorous.
Of course I wasnt supposed to respond to that last one. But since when does the rules of man apply to me?
Anyway someone wanted a few extra questions answered and I am happy to oblige.
1.) Which liberal would you most like to flush down a high vacuum toilet?
It has to be Teddy “I used my date as a flotation device” Kennedy. Why? To many to list.
2.) Would you insert both of your fists and both their feet into a liberal’s mouth? What would happen if you did?
If I was to insert both fists and feet into a liberals mouth I would probaly be swallowed whole. What would happen next? Did you ever see the movie “Alien”?
3.) Which costumes do you recommend for IMAOcon?
There are so many to choose from. Nancy “Good evening boys and ghouls” Pelosi reading from her big book of stories from the crypt. And of course anyone that dresses up as the t-shirt girl would get extra points in the costume contest.
Of course I wasnt supposed to respond to that last one. But since when does the rules of man apply to me?
Anyway someone wanted a few extra questions answered and I am happy to oblige.
1.) Which liberal would you most like to flush down a high vacuum toilet?
It has to be Teddy “I used my date as a flotation device” Kennedy. Why? To many to list.
2.) Would you insert both of your fists and both their feet into a liberal’s mouth? What would happen if you did?
If I was to insert both fists and feet into a liberals mouth I would probaly be swallowed whole. What would happen next? Did you ever see the movie “Alien”?
3.) Which costumes do you recommend for IMAOcon?
There are so many to choose from. Nancy “Good evening boys and ghouls” Pelosi reading from her big book of stories from the crypt. And of course anyone that dresses up as the t-shirt girl would get extra points in the costume contest.
Home schooling Ronin.. cool. We home school too. Nope, not my kid for your mindless, day jail, “teacher’s union” employment program. I gave birth to him, taught him to walk and talk, his education is my responsibility!!
Finally. Someone had the stones to say what we ALL were thinking about those ugly creepy beluga whales.
Thank you for your honesty.
“IMAO Con”?
Count me in.
The only issue is, with any idea like an IMAOCon, everyone will get super stoked and say their coming, then punk out at the last minute or say they were kidding. It’d never work. Unless it does.