Monkeys have assassinated a politician in New Delhi. I’m sure we’ll hear of more mysterious deaths there soon before the monkeys finally declare their monkey rule and control the populace with an iron paw.
Part of the problem is that Hindus feed the monkeys thinking they are manifestations of Hanuman, the monkey god, when in fact they are servants of Satan, the monkey god. Another problem is that they use langurs, a larger monkey, to scare off the current monkeys. Don’t fight monkeys with monkeys! Eventually the langurs will realize the people are dependent on them and use that against them!
If you think this doesn’t concern you, you are wrong! If you don’t like outsourced customer service now, just wait until the one asking you to hold is a monkey!
(hat tip to every single one of my readers)

My summary of how everyone did on tonight’s debate:
Fred Thompson: Awesome.
Everyone Else: They sucked.
BTW, remember my great Fred Thompson t-shirt you can buy to show your support. Not only does money go from it to support your favorite blogger (me, Frank J.), but buying it will also help the ThoseShirts.com models afford pants.
Lastly, here’s what Fred Thompson doing awesome at the debate looks like in Spanish:

!Que grande el Senador Thompson al contestar la última pregunta del debate!

I don’t what that means, but it sounds about right.
UPDATE:
He did even better talking to Hannity & Colmes after the debate. You’ll never hurt yourself with Republicans by overtly patronizing to Colmes.
UPDATE 2:
I noticed when Ron Paul got going on an answer, his voice would get higher and higher pitched to the point I half expected him to start crying like a baby. He really whines too much for a Republican.
That, and he’s somehow collected every single nut with too much time on his hands in his cult of followers.
In his interview with H&C (all the candidates were interviewed afterwards) Ron Paul was upset that he wasn’t able to stack the audience which caused him to rightly get booed at points. He also pretended to think his five or six supporters that stacked the FNC text message poll reflected actual support.
UPDATE 3:
Seriously, though, I thought it was a great debate and a lot of the candidates came off well. It’s almost like we Republicans have a strong field with a number of great candidates (and Ron Paul). SarahK and I actually got annoyed when the DVR messed up and caused us to miss some of it (we were watching it live, but somehow the box messed up and lost the feed at points).

The next Republican Presidential Debate is on at 8pm ET on FOX News. Jon Henke will be liveblogging at Fred File (as will Carlos Curbelo is Spanish). I probably won’t liveblog anything unless something explodes.

Did you know they had an election in Louisiana on a Saturday in October? Sounds like more election day shenanigans from the Republicans, but anyway, Bobby Jindal has been elected governor of Louisiana with 53% of the vote. As you’ll find in the lede of any story about the election, that will make him the youngest current governor (36), the first Indian-American governor, and the first non-white governor of Louisiana since Reconstruction. Less likely to find in a news story are the political reasons he won, as he ran a solidly conservative campaign. I don’t know whether this election indicates anything outside of Louisiana, but if Jindal has any success cleaning up that state, I’m sure people will be talking about a presidential run for him eventually (when he’s old enough).
Anyway, I want to be the first to congrulate Bush and Rove on their success of blowing up the levees in New Orleans to wash away all the Democrats.

Quitters never win and winners never quit. And now Sam Brownback has quit the race for president and I say good riddance. One thing is for sure, now he won’t win.
Now the questions that are on everyone’s mind: Who? Why did he quit? To the first question I will answer frankly, I don’t know/care either. The answer to the second I think is self evident. He’s a quitter.
We really didn’t need a quitter as president anyway. I’m sure you agree. We need a winner. Which quitters aren’t.
I think we’ll see as the months go by, more and more quitters will have their lives scrutinized and torn apart. They’ll have their names dragged through the mud and eventually they’ll quit. quitting, It’s just what quitters do.
When quitters quit, who wins?
The American public.

…to this post.
What I’ve always hated about the phrase “save the planet” is that no one ever asks “save it for what?”
If the question WERE asked, I guess the answer would be “for your children and their children”.
Well, what the %$#@ would be the point of that? Because you know good & well that the hippie children & grandchildren are just going to tell our descendants that they have to “save the planet” for two more generations.
When do we finally get the USE the damn thing?
I say NOW is as good a time as any. And if we use up one resource, we’ll just invent the technology to exploit another one.
Case in point: whale oil shortages = refined crude oil.
All we need to do is stay the hell out of our future J.D. Rockefeller‘s way so that he can make the operation profitable enough to be self-sustaining.
God bless Capitalism.

Well, it’s been revealed by J.K. Rowling that one of her characters was gay. Yes, Dumbledore was gay.
But you KNEW that, right? Of course you did.
Top 10 Signs We Knew that Dumbledore Was Gay
It’s reader participation day! What WERE the signs?
Kept telling the teachers that when he played quidditch, that he was the teams best catcher?
Once taught Defense Against the Clashing Wardrobes?
Was constantly asking the students if they wanted to hold his wand?

Put your answers in comments.
I’m shocked by this news but it does explain the “I heart Larry Craig” bumper sticker on his broom.
The top 10 will be announced on Tuesday. Number one pick gets top bragging rights.

I got on another conference call with the Fred Thompson campaign by pretending to be from Townhall.com. This time it was campaign manager Bill Lacy and Fred Thompson pollster John McLaughlin along with Fred Thompson web guy Jon Henke.
First off, Bill Lacy wanted to make it clear that he could not over hype this Sunday’s debate enough. He said Fred Thompson’s performance will be “life-changing” and afterwards we will “never look at politics the same way again” and it will be as exciting as “Die Hard times a million.” It was a great call, but frankly, being a quarter Italian, I was little oft put by the ethnic slurs they used when talking about Giuliani.
Just kidding. Bill Lacy said we can expect Fred Thompson to be more like he was in the last third of his first debate. Also, Jon Henke will be liveblogging again and Carlos Pueblo will be liveblogging the debate in Spanish (presumably at the Fred File; to me, this was the most interesting announcement considering how all the Republicans skipped the Spanish debate). I’m actually a little excited to watch this one (8pm ET Sunday on FOX News), because expectation are a bit higher now that Fred Thompson has done one debate (and did pretty well).
Anyway, I took notes this time. They aren’t very good notes, but here there are and maybe you can figure out what they mean:

Bill Lacy
John McLaughlin
WebAd?
Carlos Pueblo live blog in Spanish.
First live blog debate?
Zach RedState: Unity in campaign
A: Way to unite party is to stick to conservative principles. Front runners have fallen behind Hillary.
Some other guy: Missed his question while writing “Some other guy” for his name since I missed his intro.
A. Lots of states and dates and polls mentioned.
PJM (missed name): What is approach to North East states?
A. Caution with hand on gun.
Actual A. Need to focus on early states and not just back on later states like Giuliani is planning. Expect erosion of Giuiliani support as people see how liberal he is.
Newsbusters: What if Romney wins New Hampshire in Iowa?
A. He’s declining there in the polls.
Matt Lewis from TownHall.com: What are the expectation for the second debate?
A. (Bill takes it) Fred will be like at last third of previous debate.
(McLaughlin) MSM doesn’t get conservative messages.
Anon: What was your reaction to the Chris Matthews incident?
A. (Bill) Fred demonstrated he could take anybody on.

Once again, here’s a better summary from Jim Geraghty. I didn’t ask a question this time since I already know everything.